- 1Running positive phrases and sentences through ones mind may help. Encourage one to not blame others for any problems! There's no use in it.
One may stop negative thoughts and can de-stress by thinking about something less stressful, cultivating, inculcating thoughts that are agreeing with and praising others, or kind and accepting of others.
- 2Guide one to purposefully "stash" more good thoughts in ones mind every day. This is the best way to replace the dark force of fear with "force of truth and courage." Below there are examples of positive affirmations (to develop a new way of thinking) and/or using faith which expands on positive beliefs and self-concepts.
- 3Expect one to change one's own self-talk or thinking and then that will help to change the way of reacting to perceptions. Twelve step programs (EA: Emotions Anonymous is one.) use such ideals and expressing yourself with the help of peers (persons living with similar stress) and seeking higher power. They do not tell one what to believe as a religion does. It's up to each one...
- One may control ones own negative actions/reactions—by thinking rightly!
- One may work through feelings and needs of others—by communicating nonviolently, without arguing or judging!
- 4Help your friend to avoid anger and to not seek revenge: make peace with friends and fellow workers, and to be peaceful, as much as possible, with everyone! "Be a peacemaker: for they may find peace, who purposely seek it (kindly, gently)!" ... You can not force, but give, peace.
- "What you think becomes what you say and do, then what you say and do determines your character, and your character determines your life -- its outcomes/outputs..." and suggests how others may treat you warmly or not...
- 5Point out that one may choose to forgive and not be angry for more than a few minutes or hours. If possible: "Do not let the sun set on the anger--but make peace within and with others, if possible (and ASAP - as soon as possible...)!"
As soon as possible leaves room for checking facts and being rational too.
- 6Show them how to cause others to be grateful by doing nice little things like opening doors for people, and being courteous. But there is more -- these things may work like a "key" that may possibly unlock some peace of mind.
- 7Take a breath and acknowledge that 95% of what someone else does has absolutely nothing to do with you. Yes--even if you feel that they've talked about you, misused you or done you other wrongs, still their main concern is not you. It's them. Trust this: realizing that other people with no "investment" in you also have no "interest" in you--and that their activity probably has nothing to do with you--is a big part of forgiving andbeing less paranoid. So spend extra time with this one idea:
- "Convince yourself that the other person is pretty ignorant when it comes to you and your feelings--and so, you need not worry about them!"
- 8Admit that the best offense against fear is a good defense. What one dreads is almost always worse than doing the work.
- Do not assume that the other person "knows" what you "know." "You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free." Even if someone agrees with the stressed out person, that could be just like "humoring" that person as: "There, there honey child. I know! I know..." avoid most of that. It may be condescending or looking down at the other person.
- If he or she is afraid of something imaginary, (like thieves or killers after seeing a scary, gruesome movie) then of course assure yourselves that nothing like that is happening here and never will!
- 9Encourage thinking about oneself reaching for sure success: and to smile! Help them realize that we all have many good reasons to smile. Positive thinking is proactive; the fearful person has to replace the ongoing fear with good thoughts like those in "A Key" below.
- Tell them to "Visualize yourself in the mind's eye as peacefully overcoming all obstacles, all anger and fear by positive thinking."